How to mix coffee and milk?

Author | Qiu Minying

Editor | Haohao

Exclusive article on studying in a cluster

Recently, I was recommended by a super foodie lady to buy a liquid capsule coffee (see the picture below, come back and ask me for the Taobao link, the referral fee is 1 yuan). This purchase was amazing, and I found it was really good. Just take out the milk from the refrigerator and add the capsule.

First, it is convenient. In the past, capsule coffee machines had to be cleaned. Second, you can adjust the flavor yourself, using one capsule for a lighter taste and two capsules for a stronger taste.

After the typhoon, the weather becomes hot again. You can pair it with 3 yuan salty soda to make a refreshing coffee drink to cool you down.

Since I bought this baby, Starbucks, Lim Coffee, etc. have become the last resort when conditions are difficult. Who would still drink those when they have the conditions at home? (Here I face the wind and accept the fierce criticism from Starbucks fans...)

Ahem, of course, I'm not here to recommend a product today. When I was implementing a long-term team coaching project and designing some single-time team integration workshops recently, I had some confusion and thoughts about some issues.

When designing team-themed workshops, we often design them around two dimensions.

First, everything the team does, such as setting goals, discussing difficulties, creating actions, etc., are all related to "work tasks."

The second is to enhance the relationship between team members, for example: mutual understanding between team members or between individuals and the team, experiencing and thinking about the characteristics of the team, exploring the team's values, etc. These are all related to "enhancing relationships" (hereinafter referred to as "things" and "people").

We usually call these two aspects of research "going with the brain" or "going with the heart".

So, the question is, in project design, talking about things and people is like coffee capsules and milk, how to mix them to create a design solution that best suits customer needs and achieves efficient output?

In order to make the article more interesting to read, I compare coffee to talking about work. Coffee is strong and bitter. When talking about work tasks, everyone is very anxious and stressed, and needs coffee to refresh themselves.

I compare milk to conversations with people. The warm and sweet milk can make participants happy and relaxed, and warm up relationships.

Let me list some of the challenges I have encountered before and share my thoughts on them one by one.

1. "It may not be suitable for us..."

Often in the early stages of communication with customers, there are customers who avoid adding milk. "You said that you want everyone to share past stories and talk about what kind of person they are. Our colleagues here are relatively introverted and may not be suitable."

At this time, you don’t need to directly respond to whether this part of the design is needed. You need to confirm with the client what the expectations and outputs of the workshop are. If you really want to achieve team integration, then you need to do some work to gradually move forward.

Because, what he/she said may be his/her personal subjective judgment. Is this what the team members think? But it may also be the fact. What we need to do at this time is to collect information.

I would first ask him/her what the current situation of the client's team is in their daily work. This step can also be achieved by interviewing participants. Among them, some particularly key topics are: Do team members have opportunities to connect and get to know each other through other activities outside of the 8-hour work day? What do everyone think about this? Is there a desire to deepen the connection with each other?

In a preliminary interview before I implemented a workshop, there were 10 team members in total, and more than 80% of them hoped to deepen their understanding of each other. They felt that they had only communicated about work during the 8 hours, the atmosphere was very serious, and sometimes they didn't even dare to make jokes, and their nerves were very tense.

With the team's voice and common expectations, the subsequent progress will be smooth. Of course, when designing, it is necessary to explain to the client the importance of improving relationships to team integration, and what impact will be caused if this part of the discussion or experience is missing. In addition, since the team members have this part of the demand, there is more basis for design.

At the same time, I have made an interesting discovery. In several workshops that I have implemented, when I invited everyone to share "the best team you have ever experienced in the past", after the end, I often found that most partners interpreted "best" from the joy, optimism, and experience of sharing weal and woe in the team, and the inseparable emotions between me and my partners.

Second, "Things that come from the heart are important, but how do we make them come true?"

Next, if you decide to add some milk to nourish the emotions and relationships between members, then this question is often asked by customers, and this is also where I was not sure about the design part before.

How to implement it? We all know that team trust and respect are important. We can also talk about these topics in the workshop. The key is "so what?"

Here we need to think about how team members should act and how to show "respect" and "trust" through their actions. This is the most critical part of the team theme workshop. After adding the milk, how can we make it have the effect we expect?

In fact, the thinking about "implementation" has always been discussed in the training field, such as the implementation of teaching effects, how to implement projects, guiding the implementation of workshop outputs, etc.

Here, I would like to think about the following question: Which stage does this implementation refer to? Is it after the induction workshop, or two months after the workshop? Or does it refer to the "implementation" that the client ultimately wants to achieve (can we call it "vision"?)

The reason I ask this question is that my assumption is that the forms of implementation and outputs will be different in different periods and stages.

So, let’s go back to the workshop and see, if a team discusses and shares trust and respect within the workshop, to what extent can I help everyone achieve their goals?

In my previous practice, there was a long-term team coaching project that lasted for half a year. I thought that what I could help the participants do was to start changing new behaviors and try and become familiar with new ways of conversation.

At the workshop, I used an experiential activity to introduce the content and then implanted Schwartz's interactive learning model. Just like installing a new system in your brain, shaping a team that is different from the past requires each member to learn to exhibit different behaviors.

After each phase of the workshop, one of the homework assignments is to record an example of how you applied 1-2 interactive learning models. This is not only for use at work, but also for examples in life. Share it with everyone in the next workshop, and repeatedly strengthen the operation of the new system to lay the foundation for later solidification of behavior.

From my practice that time, I found that everyone really enjoyed the examples of application in real life. My partners used their intelligence and talents to handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and the household financial management affairs with their significant other very well. It was very interesting and meaningful.

Therefore, during the implementation phase of the workshop, what I understand as “implementation” is to let members try to demonstrate new behaviors, apply them, and get used to them, rather than solidifying behavioral patterns in everyone.

The latter is the result that is expected to be achieved over a considerable period of time, which depends on the frequency of application of the behavior, the team environment, the perseverance of execution, etc.

The book "Deep Conversation" talks about this: "New ways of dialogue cannot be generated by different behaviors alone. New behaviors must be sustained by new perspectives, new consciousness, and new awareness." Behavioral changes are on the top of the iceberg. What's underneath the iceberg requires an increase in consciousness and a transformation of the mind.

3. "I want both, but I only have so much time. How do you think we can design it?"

Sometimes customers expect both outputs to be achieved, and then the ratio of coffee and milk needs to be adjusted.

Adjusting the ratio is a complicated task, which is how we manage customer expectations. I think there are two questions that need to be considered:

1. Which one is more important in this workshop: talking about things or talking about people?

Rather than saying that both are important, it is better to think about which one is more important. This is not only the time to clarify and solve the problem with the customer, but also a key step in process design to clarify output priorities.

In fact, as we learn guidance techniques and tools, you will also discover this thinking logic. Limited time should be spent on important things. By figuring out this priority, neither the client nor I will feel anxious.

Next, we can go deeper into the discussion. When we talk about things, what work and content should we focus on? When we talk about people and improve relationships, what topics should we focus on? Peel off the layers and always think about the most important things.

2. What is the expected output of the more important part? What about the second most important part?

After confirming the important content, you need to consider the balance between time and output.

If we talk more about work tasks, then what level of output should be achieved? Action direction or action plan? If we talk more about improving relationships, then how deep should the experience be? What should be brought out after the experience? Is action required?

For example, designing the personal connection part is like sharing your own story. The sharing content we designed is different, the guiding questions are different, and the depth is also different.

Sometimes we will ask everyone to find visual cards to share their “past, present, and future”, sometimes it can be appreciative inquiry or peak interview, and sometimes we can share topics at the value level.

These designs all depend on the current familiarity of the team we serve, their understanding of the content, and whether to share such topic stories at this stage? Is there a sequence? What is the experience of the participants following your design? What emotions and feelings will they experience?

This reminds me of Jiro Ono, the Japanese sushi god. He would arrange the order of sushi according to the taste and flavor experience. It is difficult to measure his expensive dining experience with specific numbers and output, but it is so wonderful.

When considering guidance design, there is no standard answer and no formula to follow. This may be the art of guidance, and it is also what we as guides need to constantly improve.

I will continue to think about this topic as I practice. At least through practice and thinking, I have changed my previous fear of the emotional part of design. I also use practice to explore and verify how to complement the rational part in the workshop, give full play to their respective values, bring good experience to participants, and obtain the expected output.

The other day at Starbucks I heard the shop assistants talking about the craft of making coffee. “If it’s not made well, pour it out and make a new cup!” Yes, who didn’t grow up this way?